I am utterly consumed by rage right now, I am in a state of complete
hate and disgust - I want to pulverize something and rip it into pieces
then chew it up, swallow it, shit it out and spit on it as I flush it
down the toilet.


Scenario:


It's golive week for the rollout of a major application upgrade here at
GE. We have some guy in the company pumping out a ton of CDs for us in
manufacturing so we can mail them out to Europe. I am sent to check on
the status of this time sensitive material and, Oho! What's this? I
find the duping maching erroring!


I talked to the hack who was in charge of this stuff an hour before I
went down and he said that about 50 of the 100 we needed were done. I
saw 25 completed, and I couldn't find the unreliable scumbag anywhere.
It's 4:30. Everyone is freaking out because these things need to be
mailed out tonite. They think: "Hey, maybe we can just dupe the rest on
our PCs, we have a few with drives! Kyle, do you want to do this? Hm,
well need more CDs too, you want to run to Staples to get some?" My
response: "We have to have CDs somewhere in the building, to use.
Check the data center; combined with what we have there and what's left
over at the duping machine we should have enough", them: "I don't think
we can use that machine, don't we need some kind of authority or
something, I don't even know how to use it! Me: "It's just software, we
can figure it out. Plus, if I can get it to work, itll save a ton of
time and this stuff IS time sensitive.


So I go down there, find CDs, figure out this massive CD pumping
machine and its software, sit down there for two hours and pump them
all out. I save the day.


I return to IT with the CDs and instead of being thanked or
congratulated, my boss tells me to find the FedEx machine and get these
packed and ready to ship for the morning.


I fucking hate this guy and want to throw him out a window.


I find the machine and don't know how to use the FedEx software. Dick
around and figure it out, print the label, don't know how to do the
Customs Pro Forma statement, decide to wait till morning to figure it
out. I'm pissed, fuck it.


I tell my boss the dilemma and he says it's fine. As long as it's
packed the Pro Forma can wait. I think I can leave now - it's 9:00 pm.
Wrong.


My boss tells me to package and label the next 150 CDs to ship to sales
people in the States. Oh, but wait! I tell him we are out of CDs and
need to wait till tomorrow to get more - I was amazed that he tried to
give me more work, but I think I somehow got out of it. Wrong.


He says, that's ok, and I can go and print all the labels at least for
now since that's the time consuming part.


My mouth tastes like fire and I'm afraid if I speak I will incinerate
those around me.


I say, what about dinner? Is someone going to order pizza?


Good idea, my boss says, why don't you order some - Oh, also, they
won''t be able to deliver cause our gates are closed, you'll have to
pick it up.


I don't know if I'm I want to rip his nuts off, blend them, and feed
them to my hampster, or kick myself in the face for mentioning dinner.


I leave to get the pizza in a haze of anger. I'm paralyzed with
confusion and hate. Am I really going to pick up pizza at 9:30 pm? I
felt like driving my car into others cars just to relieve frustration.


I get to Pizza Hut and guess what, they have NO idea what the hell I'm
talking about! TWO FUCKING LARGE VEGGIES AND A PEPPERONI, YOU FAGGOT
HICK! The manager was clueless, and started to make the pizzas on the
spot. He gives me a huge discount on the stuff, but I don't care. I
prayed for 3rd degree burns of hot oil and grease all over his ugly
face.


I drive back, march into the office, dump the pizzas and soda off on
the desk without a word, and disappear to finish my work.


I take the spreadsheet and head back to the FedEx machine. I type in
names and addresses with such fury and force that the keyboard shakes
with pain and I butcher peoples names almost on purpose. It's 10:30 pm
when I finish.


I walk back to IT and drop off the labels and my boss doesn't even say
a word. He walks off to go to talk someone. I envision myself
shooting him in the back of the knee, kicking him in the neck, and
throwing him out of the window.


Instead, I don't wait for him to give me more work. I pack my things
and leave. I get back to Anu's, she's already asleep, I get ready for
bed and go right to sleep. A 14 hour day. I am the epitome of
unadulterated animosity.


I come back to work today and I have more lists and labels to print -
no Kyle, don't work on your project, do menial stuff that we don't want
to give to anyone else so we give it to you cause you're the person we
give all the shit work to that no one wants to do.


But I can't even do it, cause I'm sitting through a virtual Green Belt
training course from 9-12. Such fucking CRAP! They have these goddamn
levels of Six Sigma skill - basically it proves that, hey! I know how
to do a project using REAL measurements tools and SDLC processes, and
NOT by MAGIC! WOW! Sounds like common fucking sense to me! I looked
through the entire presentation for the 3 hour thing in 15 minutes and
was like, hey, I know all this shit, who the fuck in the company
shoudnt! How can there be this many morons in GE who DONT know what a
fishbone, or cause and effect matrix, or process map is? You stupid
sons of bitches!! FUCK YOU! Im sick of your goddamn shitty
unitelligible presentations full of slides jampacked with so much text
and info I get a headache looking at them! IM SICK OF YOUR GODDAMN
CLIPART! IT;'S ALL THE SAME! The guy with the magnifying glass bending
over ! WOW! THe duck smashing the computer with a mallet! WELL THATS
ORIGINAL!! I'm already a blackbelt but I just don't have the piece of
paper that says I am, fucking worthless!!